It is little known that the Soviets succeeded in bugging the residence portion of the White House. The access codes were lost during the Yeltsin years, but we have recently discovered them,on an IOU for a tab in a particularly disreputable Moscow bar. Through the magic of Soviet engineering, the bug still works, allowing us to present to you:
BREAKFAST WITH BARRY
"Daddy, what's a Stalinist?”
"Um, darling, that's the teleprompter. I'm over here.”
"Oh, sorry. But he's been helping me with my homework.”
"You know. Last week when I asked you about the Constitution?”
That's what you said last week. Mr. Teleprompter helped me out.”
"Ah, yes. Mr. Teleprompter always knows what to say. But you asked a question?”
"What's a Stalinist?”
"Oh, that's easy. That's someone who follows the teachings and policies of Joseph Stalin.”
"Who is that?”
"You've seen that picture Aunt Hillary takes everywhere?"
"The one she's always praying to?"
"No. She's just thinking out loud while she's looking at it.
"I didn't know he was family. Who was he? I think you'd look cool with a mustache like his.”
"He was a very great leader of a very great nation. He led the Russian people to victory in their Great Patriotic War."
"And did he destroy the conservatives?"
"Umm. You might say that. But why do you ask?"
"Sally Smith, at school, said her daddy said you are a Stalinist.”
"That's flattering, but it's not quite true. After all, he never won the Nobel Peace Prize.”
"Oh, I'm late. Can I take the helicopter to school again?”
"Of course, darling. That's what we have it for. But do me one favor before you go.”
"Sure. They won't start school without me.”
"Tell Uncle Rahm about what Sally's dad said. He likes to keep track of these things.”
"Do I have to?”
"Uncle Rahm is always nice to you, and he works very hard for Daddy.”
"I know, but he always smells like fish.”